EXOTIC?

Yong Kamila

(A conversation inside a subway heading to Edae station)

"Are you sure you're not using filters?" asked Kam while carefully looking at the pics we just took. "Yeah, I was just using the basic iPhone camera, why?"

"Oh cause the colour came out super intense, like my hair and brows look very black.."

"I think it's because there's not enough sunlight that the tone became darker. 왜 마음에 안 들어?"

"No no I like it but maybe it's a little bit too strong?"

"Hm, but to be honest I really like how these pics turned out though, you look exotic here and it's totally the kind of 분위기 and vibe I was aiming to capture!"

"Exotic?" I nodded excitedly and continued rambling about the composition, pose, tones and other technical aspects of the pictures until Kam grabbed my hands and looked at me.

"Let's slow things down a little bit, could repeat what you just said? Like when you said exotic, what exactly do you mean?"

"By exotic I meant people with healthy&glowing tanned skin with dark wavy or curly hair, warm colours, and this kind of pose (pointing at the her poses in the pics).. you know.. people from warm countries.. Thailand, Philippines, you and me.. Do you get it?"

"Kinda, but I don't think that's what exotic really mean tho?"

"What does exotic really mean then?"

(After googling the word)

"Sooo.. If I understood you correctly then you were not exactly using the word the way it is usually used in the west, were you?" I looked up from my phone and said, "Yeah I think so. Cause it's said here exotic means originating in or characteristic of a distant foreign country, yet I don't think I was associating you with foreign when I described you as exotic. Cause we have similar roots, we're both southeast asian and on the top of that Malaysia and Indonesia are practically neighbours."

"Ok go on.."

"Maybe it would be better if I contrast my usage of exotic with the general notion of exotic. Remember when we took this 'General Introduction to Korea class? We were learning about Choi Seung Hee, one of Korean first modern dancer that was made into a cultural icon by the Japanese in the late 1930s. The professor showed us that as she went on tours in countries in North and South Americas and also Europe, she became a sensation in the west for being an oriental dancer and they labelled her as 'exotic'. But I think 'novel' must have been the meaning that the west meant to use when they described her performance as exotic back then. Professor mentioned that the Asian customs that Choi showed in her dancing, as well as her oriental beauty weren't really things that the white people were used with, thus the usage of word exotic. So it's like exotic that equals to foreign/newness versus warm and rich kind of exotic.. err did I make sense?"

"Yeah yeah, so the exotic you meant is more like a south-east asian kind of exotic? Or tropical!"

"어 맞아 맞아! Tropical kind of exotic!"

"Phew, I can't believe we just spent 15 minutes trying to define what exotic is."

"Haha wellll, it's a bit of hassle sometimes, but I think it's good that we had this kind of conversation. Like... it's important to clarify what we really mean when using certain words. I think often times we assume too much while communicating with others. We think we all mean the same thing while using the same word, when in reality we actually are talking about different things.""Agree, agree." "Oh, it's 이대역. 내리자 우리." "어. And what do you want to eat again?" asked Kam while getting off from the train. "Hot and soupy food. And rice. Since it's cold."

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P.S

I actually looked more into this whole exotic thing after I got home that day. Surprisingly, the term, although it's usually meant to be a compliment, it could also contain a discriminatory tone. Historically, exotic is a term that is used to separate real beauty (the white american standard), from other beauty (people whose features are harder to place). But even the word "other beauty" is already softened. Other would say that you can only be exotic if you represent the "outside" of the dominant culture (and the ethnicity/race/civilization that gets to define the inside and outside is the one who won all the conquest wars, which was the west). We could even take this whole definition of exotic to a next level and link it with an issue called micro-aggression which is, "brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to people of colour because they belong to a racial minority group. These exchanges are so pervasive and automatic in daily interactions that they are often dismissed and glossed over as being innocuous". You can just read more about this on the internet, or you can read a short article on this issue on Psychology Today. So, does this mean we shouldn't call someone exotic anymore? I don't think so, notice that I emphasised the word could in the beginning of this paragraph. I personally think exotic is almost always meant as a compliment, so if you want to take it as intended, you can just take it with a smile. (Plus, this is only a thought, what if both of you, the complimenter and the one complimented actually possess similar physical attributes or have similar racial roots, would 'oh you're exotic' compliment still be counted as a discriminatory remark then? cause technically you guys seem to come from the same in-group..) But setting this aside, I think what I am trying to do by mentioning this different (and rather negative) connotation of the word exotic is really to show you the importance of cultivating a habit of being intentional with the language that we use. Nowadays language is rapidly changing and words just don't carry the same meaning they used to carry, so if we want to be good communicators, we should really try to be a bit more philosophical when having conversation (re: starting the talk by clarifying the meaning of a word hehe).

P.P.S

But really though, next time you hear me throwing a compliment with the word exotic in it, know that exotic beauty to me, on the top of the tropical-kind-of exotic meaning I just decided to use, it also also means that you stand out and that you are beautiful in a way that I can't really put you look into words.

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Picture: Stella Nikiko / Brush: Stella Nikiko / Location: A neighbourhood in Itaewon, Seoul, South Korea.